Yip on Doughboys

8136 W Third St @ Crescent Heights * Los Angeles, CA 90048 * (323) 651-4202
1160 N Highland Ave @ Lexington Ave * Hollywood, CA 90038 * (323) 467-9117
Cuisine: Bakery, Breakfast

Doughboys is a bakery and local breakfast eatery (my favorite meal any time of the day!) with two close locations. Since a "Los Angeles" address means nothing (annoyingly this could be anywhere from Downtown to South of LAX to North of Wilshire), I'll clarify that this one is close to the Beverly Center and near West Hollywood. The Hollywood location is not but a few miles away, just east of the Los Angeles location. Both will be unbearably crowded for a weekend brunch, so take your pick. Neither has convenient parking or (shockingly!) valet, so squint to read the the permit parking residential signs or pray for a street meter spot. Since no one here actually knows how to parallel park, you can usually find something pretty close.

The Scene

1000 hungover hipsters hovering outside waiting to be seated, so prepare to wait regardless of whether you want to eat inside or out. They only have a few crowded sidewalk tables, but inside there are two dining rooms and a bakery counter to presumably order snacks to go. Lighting is a bit too dim for a daily eatery for my taste, and the decor is either non-existent or forgettable --I'm not sure which.

The Menu

This is one of those places where you should decide before you open the menu whether you want savory breakfast, a big salad, a sandy ... The menu is huge, and honestly it's a bit overwhelming. So many choices that all sound delish, but I was taken with the idea that their soups are made to order. This doesn't seem utterly efficient, but I appreciate the thought. And they have an extreme selection of chilis. A friend of mine in SF that also spent some considerable time in LA loves chili, and this would totally be his cup of tea. I also read on their menu that they have a picnic basket you can order to go for such fabulous events as those at the Hollywood Bowl (love it!). I'm pretty psyched about having that in my back pocket for all those romantic picnics I go on.

The Food

I finally settled on a salad and soup combination. I wasn't that hungry and that seemed like a manageable amount of food. Hold the phone - pure insanity arrived at the table. A vat of soup, probably the equivilent of 3 full cans of Progresso soup. Thankfully lentil is one of my favorites, but this was just completely unnecessary. And the salad could have safely fed at least two other people. If you know me, or have read my many rants on portion sizing, you know how much this irritates me. Americans are so fat because we refuse to get in line for portion control; Doughboys contributes to that problem. That aside, the food WAS delicious, and they reportedly have the best red velvet cake (when served at room temperature) in town. Unfortunately, I was too full and broken up about the amount of food that was wasted on my plate to even think about indulging in dessert. Also, the tap water has so much chlorine in it that it tastes like they emptied out the local YMCA pool. And now I'm rethinking the picnic basket because, while I really never go on romantic picnics, I certainly don't go on romantic picnics meant for two people with enough food to feed twelve.

The Service

Not too much to report. Well, that's not true. They got the order right. My glass of diet coke (free refills) never went empty. She asked if I wanted onions on my salad (kind of like how they ask you at In-N-Out if you want onions on your burger). They hover a little bit like they are trying to get you to move a little faster, which I suppose is understandable given the crowd outside, but I still don't like it.

The Bathroom

My friend mentioned when we sat down that this was one of those places where you'd rather not go to the bathroom since you have to go through the kitchen (a la San Francisco's Mama's and Victor's Pizza). Low and behold, they decided (or the local health code authorities decided) that this was unacceptable. They didn't want patrons schlepping through the kitchen to tinkle. So what do they do? They post a sign that reads "No public restroom." I'm sorry, I just hallucinated... WHAT?!!? This isn't a to-go coffee stand. This is a full fledged restaurant. How is it possible that they have no public restroom. The local health code authorities somehow allow this place can remain in business without a public restroom?!!? I am literally speechless. And that rarely happens.

************

In a spoonful, they have "Portions for three." Go here with two of your friends and order one dish, but don't drink a drop because who knows where you'll be able to relieve yourself. I really cannot believe they have NO restroom - I went from speechless to appalled and then based on principle, unable to return to this establishment. If you feel the need to over-indulge in portions and try the red velvet cake, do so "To Go" or hit the Highland location in Hollywood. Maybe it has been upgraded to include a restroom.

Yip gives it 2 spoons.

The Expansion

My faithful followers know that I recently (well, not that recently) relocated from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I was anticipating my depression around the lack of delicious food available and the desire to actually eat it. And even though many asked, I decided I would give up the blog with my departure from SF. And for many a good reasons, which in my power point, corporate speak, I will list here:
1) Always a pillar of efficiency, I had trouble seeing how the sprawling acreage of Los Angeles would translate to a sampling that people could actually find helpful when deciding where to dine for the evening.
2) How could I be whitty and interesting when theoretically all I could write about was authentic Mexican cuisinse, natural frozen yogurt and 750 different kinds of salads?
3) And then there's always the age old anorexia issue in Hollywood - people here don't eat. I think when you arrive at LAX there is a sign that says "Nothing Tastes as Good as Thin Feels" (or at least there should be). I knew I would soon feel obligated to revert to the daily diet of 3 sprays of Binaca for breakfast, an afternoon snack of 2 tic tacs, and a late night cocktail of Listerine. Not to mention that I would be interspersing my soon to be 10 gallon a day habit of pounding green tea.

The green tea prohibits the absorption of calories for those that have no idea what I am talking about. And why should you? You live in a normal city and have normal eating habits that consist of actual nutrients and/or major food groups. I will soon be living life in a constant state of fresh breath, even though I'll never arrive anywhere on time between the LA traffic and the number of stops I'll have to make every 20 minutes from my liquid diet.

But the more I thought about it, I decided that while YOU may not have to live here, I do. And surely business (and visits to your friendly neighborhood Yip) may bring you to Los Angeles. And then how will you know where to eat? Someone is going to have to make the sacrifice to help navigate through all the bad, over-priced, celebrity hype eateries you will tempted to visit on your company's expense account.

And, this was really the clincher, when someone gave me an Los Angeles Zagat guide for my recent birthday, in the "LA's Most Popular" section (brace yourself, I am not kidding), the Cheesecake Factory was #1. I nearly simultanteously vomited and fell out of my chair. Clearly these people NEED me.

Well, that and I know my adoring fans get a kick out of my rants and raves, and they just can't find that same kind of entertainment elsewhere. So, back by popular demand, and in it's new expanded form ...

City Eats, Los Angeles